Someone Made You Feel Small Today? Read This Before You Believe Them
“You don’t know how to think, do you?”
“Is this the first time you’ve done this?”
“You’re not meant to go higher.”
If you’re in the arena long enough, at some point, a condescending behavior will knock you off balance.
The more you put yourself out there, the higher the chance you’ll receive comments that could bring you down. Not everyone is going to speak with kindness.
Most of the time, you are equipped to deal with negativity and being overlooked. You’re not in kindergarten. You came this far in life.
That said, there will still be times when other people’s behavior starts to creep in.
I find myself most vulnerable when I’m already in a low spot.
Every lack of acknowledgment starts to feel like a direct hit to the ego. A side comment could silence me if I were not careful.
If you’re experiencing this today, I hope this article finds you.
Why Not Take the Feedback
Some people will say, “Come on, just take the feedback.”
This is where I disagree.
We’re talking about a state where your sense of self feels wobbly.
Where self-doubt is on the verge of consuming all of you.
You can take feedback after you pull yourself together.
What’s the use of feedback if you’ve lost all hope?
When hiding under the sheets feels far better than fighting again?
What you need to do when you are experiencing this is to first steady your self-esteem.
Here are three protocols I encourage you to test out if you are in this headspace right now.
How to Get Your Confidence Back, Fast
Protocol 1: Write Affirmations
One of the fastest ways to break out of a negative spiral is using affirmations.
Use pen and paper and write down 3 affirmations.
Repeat them again and again. A hundred times if you need to.
Write even when you don’t believe it.
Write until you feel yourself coming back.
Here are some of my favorite ones, feel free to use them:
I am strong. I am brave. I am a learner. I belong in the room. I am capable. I am heard. I am calm. I am confident within myself.
Protocol 2: Externalize Thoughts through Meditation
Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
See other people’s words as merely feathers floating away from you.
Imagine your own negative thoughts as feathers, flying away from your body into the outside world.
Take 10 minutes to do this practice.
Observe your thoughts and emotions as external objects.
You are the observer; you are not your thoughts.
Protocol 3: Move
Get back to a state of confidence by doing one hard thing with your body. My way of doing this is through running and yoga. I go do a long distance run and/or complete my Ashtanga yoga practice for the day.
Moving your body helps you distance yourself from intrusive thoughts and elevates your mental state.
If you’re feeling down now, let this be a sign to go move.
Not everyone we meet will be kind. This is the way of the world.
Suffering comes when we expect the world to treat us the way we treat others.
My hope is you don’t let external factors dictate how you feel about yourself.
Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations:
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.”
🧠 If this resonated, I write about Psychology to help you get wiser. Subscribe to the newsletter here.
🌍 A note on culture:
I’ve learned in my travels that there are places where people criticize like they’re saying hello. When we aren’t careful, we can misinterpret another person’s cultural norms as a deliberate attack.